Taking the weekend 'off'

Sometimes progress is invisible.

I have given myself the weekend ‘off’. The emphasis is mine and intended. Still I have fetched water, chopped wood, continued my search for a secondhand window for the kitchen online, tried (and failed) to catch a wiley mouse, had some conversations about the next big job coming up - resurfacing the road and done all the ‘normal’ things that is living in a house whilst renovating it.

I gave myself the weekend off from having to progress the project with my hands. I didn’t keep going with the lime render to prepare the wall for the pantry. I didn’t put the second layer of earth plaster on the wall that will become the kitchen, I didn’t repoint the bathroom wall, I didn’t start the tiling of the kitchen floor and I definitely didn’t do anything in the garden or the land. I gave myself the weekend off from my expectations of progress.

The first layer of lime render I won’t be finishing this weekend. I have tested different application techniques and using different coloured sand. Spoiler alert. I’m not into the pure white.

Sometimes progress is invisible. Strange metaphor for a pescatarian, but sometimes the progress is when the meat is resting. Pulled in all directions doesn’t give a clear path to let intuition flow. Juicy ideas come when we ourselves rest.

In the five and a half months I’ve been here, I think I’ve given myself one week off. I’ve been in a race against winter and I’ve just about made it.

• I don’t have enough wood cut or chopped,

• The sink is still outside the house,

• I don’t have any hot water,

• I decided not to lay the wood floor downstairs until I’ve finished plastering the walls (which isn’t going to happen now until it’s warmed up), which means I also haven’t put the insulation down,

• Bathroom is still a rustic compost toilet under a tree.

My inner critic is always going to battle with the ifs and shoulda’s. Is always going to have higher expectations of myself than anyone else would. What if instead I focus on all the little, and big, milestones that I’ve achieved as I approach my six months anniversary of the project:

1. I have gone from zero to three sources of running water on the property.

2. I’ve gone from installed but not working to generating enough solar power to power a fridge, washing machine, water pump, dehumidifier, toaster & vacuum cleaner.

3. I’ve put in a supporting beam and finished laying the floor upstairs.

4. I’ve dug out cement ready to repoint the bathroom wall.

5. I’ve laid a limecrete floor for the kitchen and hearth pad.

6. I created a beautiful hearth pad out of brick tiles.

7. I installed a wood stove and new chimney.

8. I built a shed for the generator with a living roof

9. I built a dog house for Sunny that he doesn’t use and that the recycling sits on. lol

10. I’ve put the first layer of earth plaster on two walls and the first layer of lime render on one.

11. I have cut and chopped a lot of wood.

12. I’ve had a garden wall built.

13. I’ve brush cut some really intense brambles.

I am so proud of my beautiful hearth pad! Loving how cosy it is with the fire going, amazed at how quickly it burns through the wood. Cripes!

A great list! Though when I look at all these progressions above, the skills I had to learn to get there are invisible.

• Cutting wood = learned to use a chainsaw and learned about curing wood..

• Chopping wood = learned to use 2 different types of axe.

• Laid a limecrete floor = learned about different types of lime and how to work with it.

• First layer of lime render = learned how to apply it by trying three different techniques and trying 3 different coloured sands to get the colour I want.

• Built a generator shed = learned all about wood, navigated woodyards, learned to use a circular saw, learned the basics of how to construct a structure out of wood.

One of those invisible, new skills I’ve had to learn. Using a circular saw. An exercise in focused presence, scared the shit out of me at the start.

Then there’s tiling, angle grinders, drills, solar systems, plumbing, brush cutting, water pumps. Still just scratching the surface here! All whilst finding my feet in an entirely new area, making new friends, finding people to help, working out where everything is etc. Add to that it being in Spanish and I’m only at intermediate level. Blimey. The learning curve has been epic. No wonder I’m tired!

Maybe I’ve written this post for me. To assuage my guilt for taking a break when there are always so many things to do. What I don’t write onto my to-do-list is ‘have fun’, ‘take time to enjoy’, ‘sit and connect with the land’, ‘just breathe, or ‘just be’. It’s too early to be doing new year’s resolutions and I don’t really believe in that practice. But if I was to set an intention for next year. It would be to schedule in more time to be still and enjoy what is.